Hello to you and how you be… Dan Ryan here… you there. Thank you so much for checking out this post and if you like what you see please share. On July 23rd, 2026 Deadline ran a report stating that Atari had signed a deal with Universal Pictures to turn 10 of their properties into movies. The properties in question are Asteroids, Adventure, Berzerk, Breakout, Centipede, Crystal Castles, Millipede, Missile Command, Pong and Yars’ Revenge. And look, if we’re being extremely generous, the stories for each of these games is paper thin. Which might not be a bad thing; with next to no story needing to be included, creative people are free to come up with creative ideas to attach these titles to. Submitted for your approval are my ideas for the first 5 movies based on these 10 iconic, Atari franchises.

7800 GameDrive

$174.99

LABEL NOTE: The chromatic color on the product image is simulated. This product's label is printed on a holographic/chromatic material and those areas will change...… read more

Asteroids: Asteroids for Atari is a game about a lone spaceship fending off deadly asteroids hurtling towards… somewhere, while also dealing with the occasional flying saucer. Each time an asteroid is hit, it breaks into smaller pieces the player must deal with. The movie plot here is simple. Scientists on earth discover an asteroid headed straight for the planet. Collision will result in the complete destruction of human life. A lone pilot, paid for and financed by Otto CO., is charged with stopping the asteroid and saving humanity. Cue training montage, arguments with a partner about how it’s too dangerous, etc. As the hero gets into space they find the asteroid is protected by aliens! Good thing they were a trained fighter pilot. After taking down the alien ships, we come to learn that our hero’s fuel supply is diminished significantly and, being too far from the asteroid to land their shot, they only have enough left for one final thrust. As the asteroid is destroyed, it explodes into smaller pieces that all go rocketing off into space as the planet cheers our hero’s ultimate sacrifice, broadcast by Otto CO. Except one of the pieces bumps the ship slightly but enough to send it back towards the planet, because Hollywood. Cue happy ending, not a dry eye in the house.

Berzerk: Berzerk is a maze shooter which sees the player character dropped into a room filled with robots that they need to escape from. The player can shoot the robots but cannot touch the walls. Periodically, Evil Otto, a floating smiley face with the ability to phase through walls, will enter the room and cannot be killed. The plot for this is pretty simple as well. In the far off future, the difference between the haves and have nots has become demonstrably worse. The top 1% live in futuristic, high tech cities while the poor live in unimaginable poverty. The rich have created a drug called Berserk that causes the user to lose their mind and act violently and irrationally. Citizens are selected at random and given the drug by the private police force run by Otto CO. These citizens are then arrested for their crimes and made to compete in the Maze, the most popular TV show among the elites. The Maze is also produced by Otto CO., whose logo just happens to be a giant smiley face. For this particular episode, though, they picked the wrong person. Our hero just so happens to be an elite member of the private police force who has grown disillusioned with the role Otto CO. plays in society, and the unfair nature of the class system in place. Secretly saving the drug to use on Otto CO.’s CEO, our hero fights their way through the Maze, making it all the way to the top, earning a meeting with the CEO, and turning the elites against themselves. The final scene would be the hero standing victorious while the giant smiley face logo bounces and crashes its way down through the Maze, destroying it permanently.

Breakout: Gameplay in Breakout consists of moving a paddle along the bottom of the screen while bouncing a ball into colored bricks at the top. Successfully breaking through all 8 rows of bricks twice effectively completes the game and allows players to reset and try again. So, not much to go on except that the arcade version had a prison break as the artwork on the cabinet. (the Atari box is kind of tennis?) A simple prison break story would be sufficient here. In order to get the different colors of the bricks represented the movie could have our hero, wrongfully imprisoned naturally, have to break out of a maximum security facility with each floor being color coded to the relative danger of the incarcerated. Our hero would start on the yellow level, least dangerous, and make their way to the red level, the most dangerous. Everything in the levels of the facility would be color soaked including the uniforms of the inmates and guards. Along the way, the higher ups at the facility would release prisoners to stop our hero who would defeat them with clever tricks using physics. (reeeeeeeeeeeach…) Upon reaching the final level, we would learn that this facility is also controlled by Otto CO. tying this movie into the larger ACU. 

Centipede: One of the most popular arcade and Atari titles of all time, Centipede is a fixed shooter that sees the player control the Bug Blaster, a tiny creature at the bottom of the screen, in an attempt to destroy the deadly centipede racing towards the bottom through a field of mushrooms. Another simple plot, as this movie would see a team of scientists investigating the destruction of a local town rumored to have been caused by a giant centipede. The scientists, funded by Otto CO., would discover that not only were the rumors true, they were actually worse! Each time the centipede was damaged it would spawn a deadly mushroom like growth where its blood touched the ground, poisoning the surrounding area. Our team of heroes would work to discover the source of this monster and how to defeat it. (designed by Otto CO. as a weapon of war obviously) Upon designing the Bug Blaster and destroying the monster a small piece would be recovered by a shadowy figure leading directly to the sequel Millipede...

Crystal Castles: Another Atari maze game, Crystal Castles sees the player controlling Bentley Bear through a series of pseudo 3D mazes as he collects gems and avoids Berthilda the Witch’s minions such as walking trees and gem eaters. The lone kids movie in this ACU, Crystal Castles would adopt the 2600 manual storyline of Bentley falling asleep and being imprisoned in Berthilda’s castle and needing to escape. Along the way, Bentley would discover the magic hat that would allow him to finally defeat Berthilda and return her minions to what they once were, residents of the castle. Throw in a couple of side characters created for the film and you’ve got a family friendly hit ready to go. 

That’s it for this week. To hear what Kris has to say make sure to check out the pod through whatever catcher you use or on our very own Youtube channel. But I want to know what you think. Join the Stone Age Gamer discord, or you can find me on Bluesky to let me know your thoughts. In the immortal words of Billy Joel, “Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes; I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again.” See you soon.