Stone Age Gaming: Super Mario Bros. The Movie... THE BOOK
Posted by Kris Randazzo on Oct 12th 2022
There's a new Mario movie on the horizon, but the latest Illumination flick isn't the only Mario movie on the planet. The live-action "classic" may be much maligned Mario Madness, but how does the book adaptation stack up? Kris dives in and does a full reading of the Little Golden Book rendition of Super Mario Bros. The Movie. ... enjoy?
Transcript of the video:
Hi, everyone. Kris from Stone Age Gamer here. This, the Super Mario Brothers. No, this ain't no game. This is Super Mario Brothers, the live action movie. Now there's a brand new Super Mario Brothers movie coming out soon. And by the time this video goes live, we will have all seen Chris Pratt's latest masterpiece in all of its illumination field glory. But this right here, it's the original Super Mario Brothers movie. So I thought with the new movie trailer being out there in the world, what better time would there be to spend a little time with Super Mario Brothers? The movie? The book. Let's take a look.
[00:00:38] Well, here we are. I have not looked at this yet. This I found a listing for on eBay, and I don't even remember how I found it. It just kind of popped up and for a relatively reasonable price. And I thought, well, I have to have this signed. I need to own a little golden book adaptation of the Super Mario Brothers live action movie. So here it is. There's the cover. It looks just like the cover of the DVD and then over poster that's all famous with their their legs making the M and the back is blank. There is nothing you don't see. At some point. This was worth a whole $0.59, but. Oh. Special edition. I wonder what makes it so special. So let's see what this looks like on the inside. Looks like it's going to be one of those. Yeah, it's just got a bunch of words and still shots from the movie that. Oh, my goodness, Big Bertha. All right. So let's let's jump in, shall we? Let's give this a proper read and see what we've got here. So adapted from the film by Justin Corman. Let's see how Justine did here. Let's see. I was 1993 Nintendo. Can you believe this is real? This happened, man. This movie, this all thing. All right, let's see.
[00:01:56] Not so long ago, in a place known as Brooklyn, there lived a young woman named Daisy. Daisy was an archeologist. A person who studies the past by digging for remains that have long been buried. Daisy always wore a crystal pendant around her neck. She didn't know it, but she was really a princess from another world. Her pendant was the only thing that could bring the two worlds together. Okay. Lines up with the movie. Meanwhile, in the other world, an evil man named Cooper who was making plans with him, where Iggy and Spike his loyal followers. I guess spoiler alert, if you've never seen the Super Mario Brothers live action movie, it's an experience and this is likely going to spoil it. Cooper knew all about Princess Daisy, not Princess Peach, Princess Toadstool, Princess Daisy from Super Mario Land. I want you guys to find the princess and bring her to me, said Cooper. I need her Crystal to unite our world with the Earth, with the earth. Okay, then I will rule both worlds. Get me the princess he ordered. Back on Earth, the earth and Daisy discovered that the tunnel in which she had been digging was quickly filling up with water. She called in her two friends, Mario, Mario and Luigi. Mario, the best plumbers in Brooklyn. I I'm pretty sure she wasn't friends with them at this point. I don't know.
[00:03:17] Maybe she was in the tunnel. Daisy and the Mario Brothers discovered they weren't alone. Iggy and Spike were there waiting. The evil pair grabbed Daisy and dragged her toward a gateway to the other world. Let go of me, Daisy yelled. Luigi and Mario watched in horror as Daisy disappeared to the gateway. Luigi tried to grab her, but he caught only the crystal hanging from her neck. We must save Daisy, cried Luigi groused. Oh, boy. Here we are. Luigi and Mario jumped through the gateway after Daisy. They found themselves in a strange looking city that was covered with thick, yellow fungus. Daisy was nowhere in sight. Just then, a woman named Big Bertha ran up to the Mario Brothers, and Bertha snatched Daisy's crystal from Luigi and rushed off. For anyone who doesn't know, Big Bertha, I believe, is the fish for a marvelous three. And yet. Meanwhile, Iggy and Spike brought Daisy to Cooper's headquarters. Cooper's nasty girlfriend, Lena was with him. You nabbed the right girl, said Cooper. But you lost the crystal. Where is it? Some plumbers took it, Spike said.
[00:04:21] Bring me those plumbers. Koopa commanded. Daisy didn't like Koopa, but she made friends with his pet tyrannosaur. Yoshi. Yoshi was still kind of cute in this movie. Yoshi didn't like being Cooper's prisoner any more than Daisy did. After a long search, Iggy and Spike finally rounded up the Mario Brothers and brought them to Cooper. When questioned, Mario told them the Crystal had been stolen, but Cooper didn't believe him. Give me the crystal or I'll turn you into slime. Cooper warmed. Cooper had created a deconvolution machine that could change anyone into their most primitive form slime. It had turned King Bozer and Daisy's father into the fungus that now covered the city king. Bowser was Daisy's father. That doesn't sound right. It's been a while since I've actually had watched the movie, so maybe I'm wrong. The machine could also make people very intelligent. But Koopa didn't tell Mario that.
[00:05:19] We're out of here, said the Mario Brothers, starting to run. They knocked over Cooper and flew past his soldiers. Once outside the building, they jumped into a parked police car and sped away. Which way should I go? Yelled Mario, clutching the wheel. There's a tunnel up ahead, said Luigi. Let's. Go through it by going through tunnels, just like in the game. Mario Luigi sped through the tunnel, but at the end of it was a 200 foot drop. I can't stop. Mario screamed as the police car shot out in the air. Down, down. They fell just before they hit bottom. A strand of royal fungus that covered the city, wrapped around their tires. The fungus slowed their fall, and soon they came to a gentle halt in the middle of a desert. Back at headquarters, Cooper was still fuming. You Numskulls? He screamed. How could you let those plumbers escape? Sorry, boss. And Iggy and Spike cringing. We'll find them, we promise. But Koopa couldn't afford to let those two fail again. So he set the controls on his weird machine and made Iggy and Spike very smart. Oh, here we go. This is what we came here for. Shirtless, shirtless. Super hot, Luigi. That's what the kids want.
[00:06:29] Iggy and Spike were now smart enough to find Mario and Luigi. They were even smart enough to avoid the tunnel and get to the desert by a safer route. Seriously, look at John Leguizamo here, man. Miami. Well done. But the two plumbers were still smarter. When Ian Spike arrived in the desert, they were immediately captured by Mario and Luigi. They're the creeps who stole Daisy, Luigi said. But now Iggy and Spike were too smart to be evil. They offered to help rescue Daisy. Maybe we can trade the crystal for Daisy. The weed, she suggested. Let's try and get it back from Big Bertha. Huh? The Mario Brothers and Iggy and Spike set off to find Big Bertha. They found her dancing in a nightclub. Mario joined Bertha on the dance floor. Hey, Bertha. Remember me? Mario asked. John Hoskins. Play Bob Hoskins. Not John Hoskins. Soon he had Bertha talking and laughing. She never even noticed when he carefully stole the crystal. Just then, Lena stormed in with a troupe of Cooper's goombas. Yes. In case you haven't seen the movie, these are not Koopa troopers. They're Goombas. The Goombas were Cuba's elite. Royal elite? Yeah. They had little lizard heads and great big bodies, and they weren't very smart. Lena grabbed the crystal out of Mario's hand and ran out of the club with the Goombas. Follow her cry, Luigi. We need to get the crystal back so we can save Daisy. What's going to happen, Luigi?
[00:07:50] Mario. Iggy and Spike ran out of the nightclub after Lena and the Goombas. They followed them through the slimy city streets until they came to a large meteorite. The huge rock had fallen from space long ago and now lay in front of the gateway to earth. And there they saw Koopa and Daisy was with him. Lena put the crystal into the meteorite. A high pitched hum filled the air. The human world and coop is world slowly began to merge. Daisy scrambled onto the meteorite and said, We have to get the crystal out. No way, said Cooper. Now I can rule. Both worlds are they're not going to show the deal. Oh, they also the devolution guns. The devolution guns were super scopes. Now, no joke. They were super scope guns. No way, said Cooper. Now I can rule both worlds. Coupon. Mario fought. Mario grabbed a weapon from one of the Goombas, the special weapon which worked like Cooper's de-evolution machine and could change anyone into slime. See you later, alligator. Mario said as he pressed the button and Cooper melted into a puddle of slime. At last, as evil rain was over. Oh, man, they skipped over. They turn him into a nasty, like the laser looking monster for a minute there. It's weird. There they are, all in costume like that. But the two worlds had almost become one. Luigi and Daisy struggled to pull the crystal from the meteorite.
[00:09:10] Finally, they yanked it free. The two worlds separated again. Luigi wanted Daisy to return to the human world with him. But she had a job to do. She wanted to return her poor father, King Bowser, to his throne. So Luigi and Mario said goodbye to their friend Daisy. But who knows? Maybe the Mario brothers will meet again someday. Maybe they will. If you've ever seen the movie, it ends on a cliffhanger. Mario and Louise are back in the the human world in Brooklyn, hanging out and having a good time with Mario's girlfriend, who totally isn't Pauline. And then Daisy busts in with, like, some crazy gun and says, I need your help. And that's where the movie ends. Like, they really thought they were getting a sequel. So, yeah, there you go. That is the that is the Golden Book adaptation of Super Mario Brothers, the movie. And it was breathtaking.
[00:10:04] I don't know, man. I. I don't know. This whole movie, this whole experience was such a. I don't even know. I put Yoshi in it. The Goombas were big, freaky look. Had the guy who played the neighbor on dinosaurs voice the intro talking about the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs and split the universes. They roped Bob Hoskins into this. This movie is fascinating. This book is a masterpiece. And I don't know what else to say. Thanks for watching, everybody. If you liked what you saw here today, tell us why you liked what you saw here today. Please follow comment like and subscribe and let us know what you think of the book at the Golden Book adaptation of Super Mario Brothers, the movie starring Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo and Dennis Hopper from back in the day when when this happened. Thanks again for watching, everybody. On behalf of all of us here at Stone Age Gamer, keep playing games.